There's not a day that goes by where I don't wish that I wasn't such a slave to the image that I feel I should portray to everyone I know. It sucks to feel like you're a completely different person than what people think they know.
I feel like I live in a bottle sometimes.
Thoughts on thoughtfulness.
So on Monday, I was watching reruns of The Ghost Whisperer on SyFy, and in this one scene, Melinda (Jennifer Love Hewitt's character) comes home to find a note from her husband Jim on the fridge that says "There's ice cream in the freezer, xoxo Jim".
And of course, I say out loud, to no one in particular, "awww! I love them! Jim is just so sweet. They have a great marriage."
Fast forward to yesterday. I get home after a long day at work, with groceries and I'm tired. Jeffrey is laying on the couch with a migraine, so I put away all of the groceries myself. When I walked up to the fridge to put away the orange juice, there was a note, prominently placed over all of the other fridge door clutter, that read "There's a cookie in the fridge. xoxo, Boy."
My heart melted.
He's the best.
And of course, I say out loud, to no one in particular, "awww! I love them! Jim is just so sweet. They have a great marriage."
Fast forward to yesterday. I get home after a long day at work, with groceries and I'm tired. Jeffrey is laying on the couch with a migraine, so I put away all of the groceries myself. When I walked up to the fridge to put away the orange juice, there was a note, prominently placed over all of the other fridge door clutter, that read "There's a cookie in the fridge. xoxo, Boy."
My heart melted.
He's the best.
the death of decency
What is happening to this world? When did we all get so cynical? Was it always like this? Or is it something that I'm now seeing and understanding through adult eyes?
Everyday, you turn on the news only to find humans committing atrocities against humans or humans committing atrocities against animals and for what? For greed? For personal gain? For fun? or just for no good reason? I just dont understand it. What drives a child to stab another over pettiness? What drives a child to bring a weapon to school? Are they not being taught by parents that there are reprocussions to their actions? What drives people to commit murder? How can they not care that they've taken a life?
And why on earth would people kill cats for fun? Why would they slaughter horses for a quick dollar or even feel entitled to touch someone else's property and claim it as their own? Why would they take someone's hard-earned belongings and then kill them? As if they're entitled to those things. As if they have a right.
These don't even scrape the surface - men swindling innocent people out of their hard earned money just so that they can live in excess & have their shoes custom made in Belgium. Other men murdering people who have done nothing but try and make a difference in the lives of others, some with special needs. People stealing other's lives by locking them away in walls or backyards or compounds...
People making a living off of exploiting and harrassing others and others making a hobby out of criticizing and mocking people who have no way of defending themselves. When did this become entertainment?
Mothers and fathers killing all of their children. People taking away other people's rights to chose, think, feel & speak. Name calling, accusations, fights over money & power & priviledge...
Nobody has any concept of commitment or loyalty or respect, either. The institution of marriage is a joke, these days. People cheat on the people they "love" as if its a hobby and they get away with it by using stupid excuses and deflecting responsibility. Intimacy is a joke. Sex is a game. Trust is a novelty.
Even entertainment is refective of the deterioration, not only in the treatment of "celebrities", but also in the very movies we watch. The "happy ending' is nearly extinct. Most movies end with the destruction or downfall of the hero you grew attached to. If you can't find a little ray of sunshine in a fantasy setting, where do you turn? Yet & still, these are the least of our problems.
And really, where does it end?
It feels more and more like humans are losing their kindness and compassion and allowing greed and arrogance and selfishness to settle in its place. I long for days where I'll be able to turn on the news and hear something happy. I'm quickly losing my faith in humanity these days. Over the past ten years, I feel as though I have witnessed the death of decency.
Everyday, you turn on the news only to find humans committing atrocities against humans or humans committing atrocities against animals and for what? For greed? For personal gain? For fun? or just for no good reason? I just dont understand it. What drives a child to stab another over pettiness? What drives a child to bring a weapon to school? Are they not being taught by parents that there are reprocussions to their actions? What drives people to commit murder? How can they not care that they've taken a life?
And why on earth would people kill cats for fun? Why would they slaughter horses for a quick dollar or even feel entitled to touch someone else's property and claim it as their own? Why would they take someone's hard-earned belongings and then kill them? As if they're entitled to those things. As if they have a right.
These don't even scrape the surface - men swindling innocent people out of their hard earned money just so that they can live in excess & have their shoes custom made in Belgium. Other men murdering people who have done nothing but try and make a difference in the lives of others, some with special needs. People stealing other's lives by locking them away in walls or backyards or compounds...
People making a living off of exploiting and harrassing others and others making a hobby out of criticizing and mocking people who have no way of defending themselves. When did this become entertainment?
Mothers and fathers killing all of their children. People taking away other people's rights to chose, think, feel & speak. Name calling, accusations, fights over money & power & priviledge...
Nobody has any concept of commitment or loyalty or respect, either. The institution of marriage is a joke, these days. People cheat on the people they "love" as if its a hobby and they get away with it by using stupid excuses and deflecting responsibility. Intimacy is a joke. Sex is a game. Trust is a novelty.
Even entertainment is refective of the deterioration, not only in the treatment of "celebrities", but also in the very movies we watch. The "happy ending' is nearly extinct. Most movies end with the destruction or downfall of the hero you grew attached to. If you can't find a little ray of sunshine in a fantasy setting, where do you turn? Yet & still, these are the least of our problems.
And really, where does it end?
It feels more and more like humans are losing their kindness and compassion and allowing greed and arrogance and selfishness to settle in its place. I long for days where I'll be able to turn on the news and hear something happy. I'm quickly losing my faith in humanity these days. Over the past ten years, I feel as though I have witnessed the death of decency.
3 years ago.
A little over 3 years ago, I published my first post on this blog. At the time, I'd never have guessed that 3 years later, i'd be revisiting this blog to to post this:
Happy anniversary, boyfriend. You're one of the best things to ever happen to me. I love you.
When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.
Oh how things change.
I look back at some of my sappy old posts back in 2006, and I'm embarrassed. Why is that? Why would any of that embarrass me?
And still, I can't help but sometimes miss those times. That was a good year.
my little sweety
So, this weekend, my child said something that I thought was too cute not to share.
Yesterday, Kat and I got to work on cleaning her room. She has a nice, big room and its just filled to the brim with toys, a lot of which she doesn't actually use anymore. Its overwhelming. Everytime she goes in there to play, she manages to make an epic mess out of all of her stuff and she doesn't know how to clean it up on her own. We agreed that we would take some time this weekend and put aside some of her old toys "for the poor kids". At first, her main concern was that I not give away any of her "Hanni Tanni" stuff. But yesterday, while we were cleaning, I asked her if we could place the toy I was holding into the poor kid pile, and she said
"Mommy, why do you keep calling them the poor kids? You should call them the happy kids! They're getting all these new toys!"
And the way she said it was so aww-worthy, that I had to post it. My kid has such a good little heart.
fine quality thumb tacks
thievery
You might not be able to tell just by looking at them, but these thumb tacks are good quality tacks. Very fine, indeed.
I spotted them one morning, coming off the elevator. Someone used them to hang up a notice about swine flu. I knew then and there that I had to have them.
Thus started the week long reconnaissance mission. I scouted the surrounding area daily, trying to pinpoint what the ideal hour of the day would be to nab them and replace them with a lower quality substitute.
Finally, I could wait no longer...
I grabbed them on 6/3/09 at approximately 1:15 pm. They are now in my possession and I've contemplated physical violence should anybody try & rat me out.
Victory is mine!
"kristen, who the HECK are you?!"
Its not often that I break the monotony of my life, so I figure I should probably take all the opportunities I'm given to blog about not-so-everyday things.
This past Tuesday, I called a radio morning show, did my best Woody Wood Pecker impersination and won a prize pack. The end. Well, I mean, I'm sure I could get a little more discriptive, but I think I'm going to hold off on that until after I get my prize pack from XM 20 on 20.
This most recent experience ALMOST compares with my Canadian radio experience, actually - though I'm not sure anything will ever trump that. When I used to work at the law firm, before the days of my ipod, I would listen to a Canadian radio station called "The Peak". It would stream live on the internet and oh how I adored it. After months of listening, I finally decided to e-mail my favorite DJ & let him know that the Peak had a fan in Florida. Ten seconds after hitting the send button, the guy sends me a shout out on the air! Something like: "I'd like to send a shout out to Kristen listening from Florida! Thanks for tuning in, we'd love to have you in Canada some time!" I was absolutely tickled! I wanted to move to Canada right then and there. I'm pretty sure I called all of my family that afternoon and told them I was Canadian celebrity, or something equally ridiculous.
Not long after that experience, one afternoon, I went to tune in to The Peak and I came to find that they had reformatted the station without warning. I was crushed and, til this day, I'm still upset about it. But long live the memories of The Peak! Like Camp Anawanna, I'll hold them in my heart.
lulz
Jeff: the moster of azulgray drops "Cloth cover of the Way"
me: Lol, is that a real monster?
Jeff: no. i made it up but it is in my imagination
4:35 PM I will have to ask you to stay out of the fray
and you better obey
me: Well, I think you should write to blizzard about it
4:39 PM Jeff: the monster of azulgray has been known to spray
a goo that can weigh
me: Lol, ew
4:40 PM Jeff: up to 1000lbs a day... gah, i messed it up
me: Like me!
Jeff: no
4:41 PM me: Oh right, I weigh 100000 lbs.
Jeff: you are the beautiful princess of the kingdom of Jay silly butt.
me: Jay? I don't like that place How about the kingdom of jeff-er-ay?
Jeff: ok. the Kingdom of mastimaspoley
4:42 PM me: That's a mouthful
Jeff:
4:45 PM Mastimaspoley resides in the land of jefferay
me: Capital city?
4:47 PM Jeff: Hmm. not sure of that one
4:48 PM me: Look it up
4:49 PM Jeff: Ahhh the capital is Lapostray
4:50 PM me: Oh. I don't live in the capital? I'm not capital-worthy? There's a prettier princess in lapostray?
Jeff: no. you live in the Castle
4:51 PM the castle is in the middle of Lapostray.
4:52 PM Lapostray is meerly a single city in the Kingdom of Mastimaspoly
me: I thought mastimaspoly was in jeff-er-ay?
4:54 PM Jeff: jefferay is the land like the continent
4:56 PM me: I'm all confused. I need a map
me: Lol, is that a real monster?
Jeff: no. i made it up but it is in my imagination
4:35 PM I will have to ask you to stay out of the fray
and you better obey
me: Well, I think you should write to blizzard about it
4:39 PM Jeff: the monster of azulgray has been known to spray
a goo that can weigh
me: Lol, ew
4:40 PM Jeff: up to 1000lbs a day... gah, i messed it up
me: Like me!
Jeff: no
4:41 PM me: Oh right, I weigh 100000 lbs.
Jeff: you are the beautiful princess of the kingdom of Jay silly butt.
me: Jay? I don't like that place How about the kingdom of jeff-er-ay?
Jeff: ok. the Kingdom of mastimaspoley
4:42 PM me: That's a mouthful
Jeff:
4:45 PM Mastimaspoley resides in the land of jefferay
me: Capital city?
4:47 PM Jeff: Hmm. not sure of that one
4:48 PM me: Look it up
4:49 PM Jeff: Ahhh the capital is Lapostray
4:50 PM me: Oh. I don't live in the capital? I'm not capital-worthy? There's a prettier princess in lapostray?
Jeff: no. you live in the Castle
4:51 PM the castle is in the middle of Lapostray.
4:52 PM Lapostray is meerly a single city in the Kingdom of Mastimaspoly
me: I thought mastimaspoly was in jeff-er-ay?
4:54 PM Jeff: jefferay is the land like the continent
4:56 PM me: I'm all confused. I need a map
offline lovin' (gmail style)
Jeff:
I love you
I love you
I miss you
you are great
You are cute
amazing
perfect
beautiful
Lovely*
loving super amazing
4:21 PM
good kissing
good hugging
great loving
perfect amazing baby
soft with peach fuz
pretty hair
4:24 PM
Vibrant eyes
crazy beautiful lips
perfect nose
4:25 PM
smarter than the average bear
and the average boy
but thats not smart
so you are smart
and cute
and loveing
overall
4:26 PM
I love you a lot more than I could say
in one day
so hey
I have to be gay
that i am with you today
until i am grey
4:27 PM
and then i will lay
in a bed by the bay
and die in the month of may
with you to feed me hay
4:28 PM
but not before I slay
Jeff:
the monster of azulgray
I love you
I love you
I miss you
you are great
You are cute
amazing
perfect
beautiful
Lovely*
loving super amazing
4:21 PM
good kissing
good hugging
great loving
perfect amazing baby
soft with peach fuz
pretty hair
4:24 PM
Vibrant eyes
crazy beautiful lips
perfect nose
4:25 PM
smarter than the average bear
and the average boy
but thats not smart
so you are smart
and cute
and loveing
overall
4:26 PM
I love you a lot more than I could say
in one day
so hey
I have to be gay
that i am with you today
until i am grey
4:27 PM
and then i will lay
in a bed by the bay
and die in the month of may
with you to feed me hay
4:28 PM
but not before I slay
Jeff:
the monster of azulgray
